While this one is not free, it didn't cost that much. My girlfriend and I both have Wednesdays off, and we are done with work by noon on Tuesdays, so we decided to head to the keys for a daytrip. If you don't mind living on the cheap, especially to have a cool quick vacation, then here's what to do.
STEP ONE: Call the Hungry Pelican in Key Largo and tell them you are staying for a night and ask their rates. Rooms range from $50 to $150 off season (it's off season now). The place is nice and cheap, and you get a decent bang for your buck. As the sun sets over the ocean at the back of their property you can sit on the dock and drink some native microbrew while the owners feed the pelicans (I wish I got pics of this but my batteries were charging for my camera). We sat on the dock most of the night and just talked.
Around 11 p.m. a fisherman from Rugby started telling us about how he had just caught and released a small shark. He flew in from England specifically to fish in the keys. When I asked what he did for a living, he told me that he was the Stig. I believe him, and seeing him pull into the hotel in one of those new Dodge Hemi's, he might have been the real deal. Further evidence is that when we arrived at the Marathon Key visitor center, his name was already on the guest book beating us by over two hours when we left only 30-45 minutes after him.
(Don't worry, the pictures are coming, skip to the end to see them if you want.)
STEP TWO: Wake up early and drive to Key West, it's only a 90-minute trek. Park in one of the municipal lots for $1.50 an hour (I screwed up and parked in the Hilton Lot which is $3 an hour - Learn from my mistakes.) Get out and walk around while it is still a livable 90+ degrees outside. We pulled into Key West around 11 a.m. and it was nice out - maybe 85 degrees or so. Walking down Duval St. we passed up all the insanely expensive lunch joints and found a mostly vegan cafe towards the end of Duval on a side street. It's just called the Cafe and it's on the road past Banana Republic (we were avoiding the part of Duval that resembles the Galleria considering we live blocks from Galleria and if I want to go to a mall, I go to a damn mall). Anyways, they had some great tasty food - but the waitress was a bit pissed because I asked for a fork, then had the balls to ask for Ketchup (why am I such an asshole?). The food is worth the attitude and they have these little pieces of paper that you can draw on and tack to the wall.
I was working with a STEP program and it kind of fell apart, I guess step two would have been find cheap food. At this point you have a few choices to make. Do you get shitfaced and find a hotel room for a few hundred bucks in walking distance? Do you just have a few and head back to the Hungry Pelican? Well, moey-wise and time-wise neither option worked for us, so we walked around and harrassed chickens and locals until it was time to drive back to Fort Lauderdale.
Some interesting finds:
1) The chick that works at the "Best" Key Lime place in Key West is a bitch. We ordered coffee, then decided to not get coffee, and she flipped out. "I already punched it in, I can't do a void," she said staring at me with anger in her eyes. I looked at her blankly for about ten seconds, then she apparently could do a void. I guess she was trying to bully us into taking the coffee so she didn't have to cancel the order. It seems making a cup of coffee is easier than voiding a transaction.
2) There is a clothing-optional bar on Duval St., it's called the Garden of Eden, and it is impossible to find. But, just look for The Bull and Whistle which is a two story pub, and then go around back and take the stairs to the roof. At the top, take of your clothes and drink beer with other naked people. Make sure to use Sunblock, seriously. Let me just repeat that, USE SUNBLOCK WHEN DRINKING BEER NAKED ON A ROOF!
3) Chickens. There used to be tons of chickens everywhere, now due to birdflu panic, the chickens were rounded up and now only a few remain. But, you better believe I tracked them down and got some pics, including some really cute babies.
4) Mallory Square is lame now.
So, all together we probably spent about $150 including gas, food and lodging to take the day trip. It was nice.
And now, lots of pics.
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