The first thing you saw when you approached the show (access to the beach was blocked off starting at the Galleria Mall) were several large trailers emblazoned with the slogans of the U.S. Military and Coast Guard.
They looked a lot like they were parked in downtown Fallujah, except for the 50-60 teenagers lined up to get inside. The announcer, a thick marine in full combat gear was pacing around outside with a bullhorn reminding people that if they were over 16-years old they could handle an assault rifle!
EDIT: The man pointing above is actually US NAVY Petty Officer First Class Rene Machado, not a Marine. My bad.
A few hundred feet down the road the marines (and Navy) had parked a few Hummers, some authentic looking combat units, but there were also a few highly polished H1's that were painted black and gold with large chrome rims (so we trick out Hummers with out tax dollars now?). The marines have also adopted their own version of Camel Joe:
I think his name is Leatherneck Joe, but I could be wrong.Anyways, the marines were very forward with anyone who walked by. It quickly became obvious that the entire show was designed to recruit the 17-24 year old boys of South Florida. The military folk were passing out flyers like guys in hot dog suits handing out coupons in Manhattan. They would approach anyone 'of age' and try to start a conversation, and if you weren't down for talking, they would just ask for your email address or phone number so they could add you to their list to send you "cool stuff."
You couldn't really escape the recruiters, they were mingling everywhere. They weren't rude, just a little forward - probably because I look like I'm ripe fighting age.
But, the recruiters, combined with the millions and millions worth of high-speed flyby's made for a hell of a live-action recruitment commercial. The show itself wasn't particularly amazing. It was exactly what it sounds like, hours and hours of high speed jets and antique planes buzzing the beach low, fast and loud.
The interesting part was the announcer. I wish I'd written his name down but I opted to go light and only carry my camera and wallet. He kept repeating the line, "And he is truly living the dream," when referring to any of the pilots flying past. Another interesting soundbite was when he claimed the F-15 Eagles were so effective because, "The sound of an approaching F-15 strikes fear and trepidation into the hearts of our enemies while delivering ordinance." He never really went into the types or striking power of the ordinance, but we were assured it was massive and scary. This was followed by an explanation of how fun flying a jet is (which I don't doubt. I sat in one a few years ago and really wanted to push the buttons and go fast. I think it's ingrained into the minds of men to want to operate these badass $30 million dollar toys).
I quickly lost interest in watching jet after jet fly past at a piercing 300mph so I turned to my fall-back past time of crowd watching. This was the place to be for anyone who likes to stare at the weird people who populate South Florida. They were out in force.
Everyone was getting into the marketing game, this guy (above) tried to get my roommate's friend to work for CutCo Knives. At first he just tossed cards at us and kept walking, but when we asked him what it was, he took off his iPod buds in an annoyed fashion and explained that they were looking for people to sell knives door-to-door. Who buys knives from a person who knocks on their door in the middle of the afternoon?
There he is again trying to sell the idea of selling knives to one of the hundreds of hotties that were wandering the beach. He was focusing on cute girls. I guess they are better at selling sharp objects to housewives. (In all fairness, CutCo Knives are very high quality. A friend of mine in D.C. had a set and I nearly sliced my left index with one while slicing cucumbers for a salad.)
Amoco decided that the best way to get people to buy oil and gas was to kidnap the Flash (with some Green Lantern influence) and have him stand in the sun until he was drenched in sweat, then have him accost any cute girl who walked by and try to force them to take his picture.
The cops, wisely, were making a strong show of force. When I went three years ago the day ended and people didn't really leave. It just turned into a two-mile long block party. I got really sunburned and dehydrated, so I don't know how it ended this year.
The Air and Sea Show is something you have to do as a Local. No, you don't have to drag your ass down there through the chaos every year. If you've seen it once, you've seen it every year. But, you can't call yourself a local until you've attended this odd event. Yes, the beers are $5 and a slice of Pizza is $3.75, batteries are overpriced and seating is priceless. But, it's part of who we are.
Well, that and property taxes.
No comments:
Post a Comment